Real Men

On the heels of Father's day seems to me the perfect time to launch a blog about manliness. I understand that this is a somewhat risky move seeing as how a lot of men do not like to be told what to do or how to live. Let me assure you I do not claim to know everything, or even much. I likewise do not claim to be perfect, or to perfectly put into practice everything I will talk about. The subjects we discuss will simply be things I have learned from my own experience, or things I have been taught by Christ through the word or through reliable pastors or teachers. I may not be able to speak with authority on every subject, but the word of God can, and from it I draw all my insight.

Now, in order to effectively strive to become a real man, we must be agreed about what a "real man" is. I have heard many definitions of what a real man is, ranging from "Real men watch sports" to "Real men watch Gilmore Girls" or from "Real men love Jesus" to "Real men don't need help from anyone". With the exception of the one about Jesus, these seem to me very shallow definitions. The real answer must be, as all mature matters are, much more complicated. When planning this initial post, I found myself trying to find a way to sum up everything you need to know about manliness into one statement or paragraph. If it were that easy, this blog would be of little use. I have however come up with a few basics that we can start with. I must apologize for this post being somewhat long and involved. Not every post will be like this. However, this being the foundation on which our discussions will be based, we must take the time needed to make it firm.

Firstly, I can not emphasize enough, being a "real man" has nothing to do with your hobbies. There are men who play sports well, but because of the way they treat their wife or kids, they read lower than Richard Simmons on the Manliness-ometer. It is true that competitive hobbies (sports, hunting) are a common side effect of many of the good qualities we must at times encourage in ourselves, but they alone do not make you a man.

As a starting point, I think there are two indispensable qualities that we as men must posses. 1 Corinthians 16:13 says at plainly: "Be on guard. Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous. Be strong." They are courage and strength. These virtues are the cornerstones that make all other qualities and duties possible. Let us take a closer look.

Be courageous.
C. S. Lewis calls courage a cardinal or "pivotal" virtue. In this exert from Mere Christianity, he defines courage, or what he calls fortitude: "Fortitude includes both kinds of courage—the kind that faces danger as well as the kind that ‘sticks it’ under pain. ‘Guts’ is perhaps the nearest modern English. You will notice, of course, that you cannot practise any of the other virtues very long without bringing this one into play." In another of his works he writes, "Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point." What more can we say? Courage goes beyond checking the house at night when your wife hears a noise. When looking up 1 Corinthians 16:13, I found a footnote on "Be courageous." that said "Greek Be men." It seems manliness and courage are almost interchangeable terms. This required further digging. The Greek word here is andrízomai which is defined like this, "'to act as a man,' i.e. as a full-grown, mature man; to be responsible and courageous by taking the initiatives God reveals through faith" To simplify it further still, I always tell my son, "Having courage doesn't mean you are never scared, it means you do what is right even if you are scared"

Be strong.
I am using the word strength in a looser way here, meaning ability to get things done. 2 Timothy 1:7 says "For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power [strength], love, and self-discipline." Power here is defined "ability to perform" or "power to achieve by applying the Lord's inherent abilities." Not only do we need to rely on the strength of God (1 Chronicles 16:11), but we need to rely on God to give us the strength to do what needs to be done (Philippians 4:13). I also find it interesting that self-discipline (or a sound mind as it is worded in some translations) is defined as "aptly acting out God's will by doing what He calls sound reasoning" This is similar to the above definition of courage. You can see how these two virtues work together: Strength will do you no good if you do not have the courage to do what is needed; Courage to do what is right is of no avail unless you have the strength to bring it to pass. So 2 Timothy 1:7 could be paraphrased like this, "God has given us courage to do what is right, and the ability to get it done."

This is just beginning of what I think makes a "Real man" as you will see. I should also mention that I will occasionally speak on marriage or parenting and I understand that not everyone is married or has kids. However every man needs the same qualities it takes to be a great husband or father. Let's get started.

-Colby